I think I have some sort of external bitch filter. And by that I do not mean that I can’t be a bitch. That would be an internal bitch filter. I don’t have that when it comes to mean, rude or blatantly stupid people. My inner bitch is way too strong. What I mean is that I don’t seem to find the gossiping, judgmental, snobby women that some of my friends complain about. They virtually don’t exist in my world. On the contrary, my life is filled with strong, intelligent, helpful, amazing women that I constantly feel blessed to have in my life. 

Regardless, I know there are sucky women out there because I hear about them from others, a lot. Which really rots because being a woman is hard work. There are a ton of social ideals and expectations that are difficult to let go of. As a woman, It’s super hard to keep it real and like yourself for who you are. Therefore, all women should be in it together: propping each-other up, defending each other, making each-other better.

I would like to suggest that maybe some of the problem with these “bitches” is real and some of it is perceived. We make assumptions about people. Half the time they are right and half the time they are wrong. That’s a pretty huge failure rate. I’d have been fired if 50% of the tax returns I prepared got bounced by the IRS.

So, maybe in the end I’m delusional, and not actually a superhero with an invisible bitch shield, but I choose to believe most women kick ass. I honestly feel that most women don’t give a shit what you look like, what dress size you are, how you dress or what your house looks like. Seriously. They don’t give a shit. You may think they do, but most of them absolutely do NOT. This holds true even if they are a size zero, with gorgeous hair, a perfect complexion and are wearing the cutest darn dress you’ve seen in ages AND you could eat off their bathroom floor. If I’m delusional, it’s totally working for me because, as I already mentioned, I am surrounded by incredible women. I love my tribe. They rock the cash bar. If your people truly do not rock, find new people. They are out there. Just keep sifting and sorting and you’ll find the gold.

Meanwhile, I only know my own truth and it is this: I work out because it makes me feel phenomenal. It relieves my stress and makes me a happier person. Frankly, I am also somewhat prone to vanity and I totally want to look the best that I can because when I discern that I am rocking a hot dress & pair of heels, it boosts my confidence. However, my friends come in all shapes and sizes and I love them just the way they are.

Also, I hate to bathe. It’s true. If you know me, you know I consider it a waste of time. Like pumping gas for your car. Clearly it’s a necessary evil and I work out almost every day, so I promise I shower. And if you catch me after a shower, I have probably dressed up. I LOVE dresses and heels. Love them. So if I take the time to shower, I’ll probably take the time to dress. I can get ready in less than 30 minutes. Shower, make-up, hair and all. I don’t belabor it, but I dress. So, you may see me post-shower and make assumptions…. but you may also see me at the bus stop in my pajamas. Or at the market smelling like a locker room for a pro sports team and looking like I just survived a hurricane. I go out in public either way. And I truly do not care how you look. Like, at all.

As to my house, it’s clean. Want to know why? Because when it’s messy, IT STRESSES ME THE FUCK OUT. Besides, I like to know where all my stuff is and I need things neat SO I CAN THINK STRAIGHT. That’s on me and my idiosyncrasies, it has nothing to do with anyone else. I do not judge your house when I walk through your door. I’m just happy you invited me in.

By-the-way, not being liked because you don’t look a certain way hurts. Being liked only because you look a certain way smarts as well. Everyone wants to be liked for who they are on the inside.

So ladies let’s, be careful of the assumptions we make. Open up, let people in. Let your crazy hang out a little. The people who see your crazy and love you anyway, are the ones you want around. Let go of everyone and everything else. They don’t serve you. And we all deserve to be served at the party of life.

PS – To the subset of my tribe that allowed me to use this picture from our Key West adventure; thank you. Though I knew only two of you before that trip, I’ve come to love you all and this trip holds some of my favorite memories from the past decade. I am honored to have added y’all to my tribe and I devote my first public F bomb to you seven lovely ladies…