I figure that it’s entirely likely a missing persons poster much like this has been stapled up somewhere around town. Most likely up at the park where I work out. Those who know me understand that when I disappear, it’s not typically a case of, “No news, is good news.”

When I drop off social media, when I stop working out for more than a day or two, when you haven’t seen me around town in multiple days, or I sit off by myself quietly watching a game: I’m hibernating. The dark and twisty has grown like a poisonous mold over my heart. I’m concentrating on dragging myself from one minute to the next. I’m punching my time card; doing only what needs to be done. My thoughts are irrational and desperate. I sleep for long stretches of the day. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to be seen. Most of all, I don’t want to be a person who hibernates.

Through all of this, I am also struggling to discern why God has given me this painful cross to bear. What am I to learn from these dark and twisty hours? How can I help someone else? What good can I procure from this suffering? Because I can endure anything, if I know that it has purpose. Please God, let it have a purpose.

For now, the only positive I know to extract from this burden in my life, is to share. My prayer is that, if you are in need, my words might reach you and help lift you up. I pray my words will embrace you and you will know I understand. I pray my words will inspire you to endure.

This week, I posted a, “Tip of the day” on the Wicked Sexy Smart Facebook page. I hope this tip resonates and that you and I both can work hard to remember that… This. Is. Life. And in the words of the fabulous Glennon Doyle Melton, “Life is Brutiful.” So, immerse yourself in the beautiful and endure the brutal.

Tip of the day:

Try really hard to live in the moment. Especially when life is treating you well. Soak all that awesome in and be thankful. Because… Very soon, something is going to totally suck ass. Seriously.

That’s life, up & down like a twisty roller coaster that never ends. Plus the roller coaster is totally in the dark, so you have no idea what’s coming next. And gosh darn it that kid one car back will not stop screaming! AND when you grab the rail to hold on for dear life, (because you were so distracted by the hunk of handsome sitting next to you that you forgot to fasten your seat-belt), you just touched somebody’s gross semi-dried up gum. But HOLY SHEEP SHIZZLE, are you glad you got the very last seat in this car because that guy sitting next to you is HELLA-HOT and he is totally checking you out! Oh crap cakes… Your phone just fell out of your pocket!!! But OMG he just put his arm around you and Holy Hello Kitty, he smells fantastic!

Yup. Life. It’s like that.

But, here’s the thing… Live in the moment when things suck too. Don’t borrow trouble thinking about all the possible impacts and problems that might be coming. Fact is, you only have to endure this moment. Then you can endure the next one when it gets here.

After all, very soon, you are going to be marinating in AwesomeSauce again. I promise.


“When I’m deep inside of me, don’t be too concerned, I won’t ask for nothing while I’m gone.” – Billy Joel: Honesty

While you are at it… do yourself a favor: buy this book. At least you can read something while you lay in bed hibernating. I promise it will be worth it! Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy Beautiful Life

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